psychologists would find it hellish to interact with anime theorists

saying this since i have been questioning myself how tf no one noticed that i was autistic despite seeing therapists since i was 3 or so, and recently ive had pretty intellectual conversations with my mother about it and my own thoughts about it, so yeah hehe.

i saw my first therapist when i was 3 to 5 years old since my parents were desperate to know how to deal with me, because i was a VERY…messy child, to put it in a way, to the point my parents were constantly afraid that i would fucking die (bonus points if i was left 5km away of smth i could climb 🤑), so ofc they’ll search help. i didn’t see her often so ig she didn’t have enough time to figure it out but still…idk. maybe bc i generally didn’t struggle much and i wasnt an stereotypical autistic girl??? i mean…maybe if i was a quiet girl who didn’t speak with anyone and had “niche” interests and I fucking hated loud noises (im hyposensitive 😭) i wouldve been diagnosed but NOOOOO BITCHESS. but idk. who knows

also, around this time, my dear mother, who was not someone oblivious despite having the psychology knowledge proper of a 30 year old woman born in the 80s, suspected something was a bit wrong with me. she initially concluded “ohh since my daughter smart she probably spent all of her aura points on that instead of being able to socialize lol”, but then she saw that messi had aspergers (disclaimer, ik the term is outdated but ig it was still used on 2014 and somehow the late 2022 so forgive me) and knew about the other cool people who did, and saw that it somehow fitted her daughter…she was like “oohhh, cool :D” 😭 (man i wish i was old enough to bully the fuck out of her that day. like jst bc a couple of successful people are autistic does not mean ur autistic child is some sort of savant kid 😭). she ended up discarding this and life moved on. but well at least we have this very cool comedic gold

fast foward to when i was 8 and 9 and i was in therapy again. this one is a bit wilder to me but I can see why i flew under the radar again. so, for some context, i had jst moved to a new city, and i was struggling to make friends. half bc of the people there and half bc i didn’t want to because yes (i still remember fighting with my mom saying i was fine without friends and i actually liked spending time alone lol) so i got sent to therapy since that wasn’t normal ig. well i had appointments every 3 months and the therapist was nice to me. kinda surprised since i think my disinterest on socializing was starting to consume all of my aura points but it could be easily brushed off as me struggling to get used to the new city (even if i made a friend 6 months afterwards and i still was uninterested on talking 2 anybody else that wasn’t THAT friend), well u could also argue my intense interests on kpop and lol surprise dolls werent normal but those things were pretty popular around the time, clearly it would be normal that a random 8 year old girl was capable of listing every single lol that had come out since idk the first series and stuff like that (maybe other thing that influenced the lack of suspects was the fact i had very common interests b4 getting more online??? i have no proof but i truly believe it is true. nobody would care if a random girl was able to infodump of her favorite kpop groups instead of smth like science or animals). and my speech (i have a very high pitched voice and i speak very fast) can be easily brushed off as smth proper of a child (along with stuff like stimming, being an airhead, missing social cues and that making me act naive or insensitive, echolalia, you get the idea). also the therapist i saw seems to be someone VERY VERY controlling and strict on certain stuff so…idk, it gives me the impression that she would Not be the type of person to consider it, even more on a girl that mostly acts normally. even more wilder taking into account i have never rlly masked BUT i do get that most of my autistic traits can be brushed off as normal child shit

luckily i was able to get diagnosed when i was 12 since the psychologist i saw spent like 0.0007 seconds with me and said “this bitch autistic i have no proof but no doubts either get the fucking diagnosis things”, and well..idk…maybe it was bc it is less rare to see a teen still have the same childlish manners as the teen girl in question had when she was…8, or so. aside from the fact, that i NEVER have masked and didn’t mask at the time (since i truly disliked some stuff they did, half bc it was geniuenly awful and half bc i was in my “im not like other girls” phase and i happen to be a horribly stubborn person so 😭) so that might’ve contributed to it (maybe for some social context, the thing of girls acting like they are older and oversexualizing themselves here is huge and happens to 99% of the female population, so I suppose it must be weird to see a random girl with a terrible disgust towards that culture that happens to lowkey act like a kid must have somehow increased my chances of being diagnosed). and luckily it hasn’t been questioned ever since :). but in conclusion…acting weird at an “inappropriate” age considerably increases ur chances of getting a diagnose ig??? who knows. is a weird theory of mine but idk it might be right. anyway ty 4 hearing me yap have a nice day :3