lumemiruuuuuuuuuuu | -> reading

Yesterday was Sunday, the end of the weekend. The craft faire was still going on, and I thought perhaps I could check it out... well anyway, I figured to stay in the neighborhood, and found a different craft faire in a different neighborhood, how exciting... My dumbass self loves to test my immune system sometimes. For about a week now, I get some regular walks in, and have not felt at fear of getting sick. So, yesterday I stretched further, and sat outside in the cold just to be social for about an hour, and then I went home. Ah, how precarious my system feels again. As if it were impossible to erase the cold, it is warm indoors, but I feel the imprints of my actions, like my lungs in particular just feel more fragile.

I will likely still go about some regular routines today. I have not folded today's piece yet. How much fun it will be to see if I fold it by the end of the day. I think I will really save it for then.

Sometimes, I have to re emphasize to myself how much heart surgery helped me. But this mental health situations: I am not getting any resolution. They have put me on probably about 10-15 different mental health meds at different times. Some, I have stayed on for longer lengths of time than others...

And as I have mentioned before, I never had a problem with seizures growing up, I got placed on a mental health med that gave me a seizure and a permanent propensity for seizures to happen again.. which means: why am I trusting these people? But it really is the heart surgery: like if heart surgery could help me, what else could?

Well many of these hospital workers, I feel like I end up inpatient out of a desire for others to say they own me, it is my desire to defend myself and my freedom to say that, but I do have health problems that I wish could be better, so i want to believe that they also inpatient me for my own benefit.

I was just on a medicine for a long while that I didn't notice make any changes to me at all, and I was on it for a long while, and it had a possible side effect of liver failure. In my recent inpatient trip.. they finally changed that med, and gave me options about what to change to, so I made a choice based on a previous experience.. the previous experience was good, but currently, I just don't know. I'm simultaneously starting another new med, I just have to make my choices here, because one of these meds is making my life a living hell most nights. As soon as I take it, it is like ingesting poison, how my body changes. It's the legs thing, the nervous system, it goes out of control in pain, and I fall asleep every night, but I fall asleep in agony, and waking up quite a lot, still in major agony for at least an hour or so before I am settled for the night. I can't deal, I can't continue hurting myself like this.

You know how you play a video game, and if you take something like a potion or an antidote... if you take them when you don't have the sickness, they have no repercussions? Yeah, that's what medicine should be. If my doctor isn't willing to take this pill themself in front of me, I don't see why I should have any interest in taking it.

Of course I don't need a medical system that makes doctors do that lol.

thedumbopt_imist

im alive btw
js wanted to post that
i have stuff i need to do ill be back here soon

autumninpluto

I changed my journal layout (credits to baisemain) + fixed my image tags for the 2nd time + created a Plurk account for no reason instead of going to the post office because I heard of the massive traffic jam last Saturday that lasted for hours and that terrified me. (I'm procrastinating.)

( Find out how I procrastinated today!!! Number 3 will shock you )

mood :): productive

bryce4_4

I'm going to make this Brief and very Frank, I'm not in a great spot in my life. I been wasting my time, I been so mad at the World sometimes, I been pushing myself and people, I been losing People, I been lonely, Scared, and it's my fault. So much been my fault. I wonder if there is ever a way out.

bluapapilio

Watch on YouTube

@ Spotify

No one's catching me unless I wanna be caught
I'm dancing in the shadows, ain't no leash when I walk
It's great to feel invincible, it's great to feel alive
My appetite's insatiable, there's nowhere it can hide🎵
Chandler Kinney, Pearce Joza, Baby Ariel -
We Own the Night

bedes

Finn's physical degradation is being paralleled by the degradation of Fionna's moral backbone.

She's losing herself. She agreed to work with her friend's abusive, power-hungry mother (thus pushing him away), and is obsessively chasing this fantasy with Phelix despite him having a girlfriend. She doesn't recognize the effort her friends put in to the event. She is single-mindedly chasing this fantasy of being a hero, while, in reality, she is hurting those she is trying to "save".

The threat looms — both of a physical death (Finn), and a symbolic death of the self (the "Fifi" future).

mood :): thoughtful

bedes

A lot of people in the MILGRAM fandom (especially English-speaking MILGRAM fandom) state that Haruka is autistic-coded, as if it's fact. Most recognize that Haruka is coded as disabled. (If you didn't recognize that, I hope this essay will help to explain why.) However, to state that he is coded as autistic specifically is incorrect. Haruka is coded as intellectually disabled.

Now, there are likely two things that contribute to this issue. One is the invisibility of intellectual disability as a whole, and another is the fact that a lot of this has to do with things that only someone who speaks Japanese would understand (such as complex vs non-complex words in Japanese).

In this essay, I plan to lay out what an intellectual disability is and how it differs from neurodivergencies such as autism or ADHD. After that, I want to discuss the way Haruka speaks and uses words, the symbolism in his MVs, and how this lends to him being coded as intellectually disabled. Finally, I want to discuss why this even matters at all. Because, in truth, viewing Haruka as autistic instead of intellectually disabled leaves the viewer misunderstanding his story in a huge way that seems far too common in English-speaking MILGRAM fandom. So, I hope you listen to what I have to say.

( Continue? )

music ♫: Weekness - MILGRAM Haruka CV Shun Horie
crossposts: https://fairyfic.dreamwidth.org/19146.html

yuuago

+ An acquaintance loaned me a fountain pen so I could try it out. I was interested but a little hesitant, because my experience with Fancypants Pens up to this point hasn't been great (though admittedly previous experience was limited to glass dip pens. And also calligraphy pens in elementary school art class). This one's quite nice, though. It's a Pilot Metropolitan and I might end up getting one for myself. Though, will need more practice - my writing is even uglier and more illegible with this thing than it was with the cheap-ass Bic rollerballs I use most of the time. If I get one of my own, it'll probably be something I use for both writing and drawing. Maybe. Probably not for fic though.

+ I will confess though, part of my interest in fountain pens (aside from this acquaintance's enthusiasm about them, which is kind of cute) is the wide variety of fancy inks out there. So pretty! So stylish! You can even get shimmery purple ones! Amazing.

+ It was absolutely miserable out yesterday. I took a look at the weather in the morning and it was -38C after windchill. Eew. A lot of events in town were cancelled because it was so cold - though that isn't just us, apparently several other cities had to cancel their Santa Claus parades and whatnot as well. Looks like we'll be dealing with this for a while. The transit stop that I use after work doesn't have a bus shelter any more, so it's going to be a very cold week.

+ The faucet on my sink has a crack in it and is going to need to be replaced. This is a terrible time for it, partly because this time of year is busy in general and also because I will not be able to take any time off work until mid-January because my coworker is leaving very soon for a month (there are only two of us in my department), so if I have to get somebody in to change it out it could be an issue. A cursory search tells me that this kind of thing can theoretically be handled as a DIY; my father is coming over this afternoon to take a look at it. Hopefully he can fix it (or maybe he knows a guy who can). Aughhh.

+ Wood Buffalo Pride is hosting another letter-writing session later this week in response to the UCP's Bill 9. I'm 50/50 on whether I'll go. I already wrote to Danielle Smith and my MLA, and I doubt a second letter to either of them would have an effect. But I've been kind of considering writing to other MLAs, not from my area, who have been objecting to Bill 9, thanking them for that and encouraging them to continue. I'm thinking mainly of Janis Irwin, who has been very outspoken against it and has been getting so much shit in response (though she tends to piss off conservatives on the regular no matter what, on account of being 1. an NDP representative 2. a member of the LGBT community 3. a woman who speaks her mind, is articulate, and doesn't look like a Barbie doll). I dunno, we'll see - depends on whether I feel like hauling ass to go out again immediately after coming home from work, I guess.

sennashi_dorei

AoT D7 front, K.i.

AoT D7, back: K.i.

I thought i might pass today, but here it is! "Letting the video count for me." I did not watch the entire video, the crease pattern is very worth doing for this one.

Ended up at an art market at a local art school yesterday, have not decided if i will go back today, maybe!

haitangkitty

I binged Interview with the Vampire S2 yesterday.
Oh God... i wanna scream.
It was so so so good.
Season 1 was one of my absolute top tv experiences and second season didn't disappoint.

Second season was all about memory and controlling narrative of past events and how they finally unravel in the present moment. Lot of lies and manipulation. The presence of Lestat haunts the narrative throughout the whole 70+ years he hasn't been in Louis' life. All the immense pain and sufffering and yet Louis and Lestat always come back to their most beautiful moments when they fell in love and lived together in New Orleans, when they had Claudia and they were a family together. They have a hard time accepting they are completely miserable and meaningless without each other.I would say it's a pretty painful season. I did enjoy watching the charismatic Armand and his doe-eyed manipulation as well as Theatre des Vampires. Vampires living through history and yet staying as their own isolated community is so interesting to me. At the heart of it is the feeling of absolute loneliness of a vampire and the need for a companionship. Having a special and usually a traumatic and codependent relationship with your maker is a big part of each vampire. How can predators form a community, and how can they truly love?

Season 3 comes out next year. I still have time to finish The Vampire Lestat, which I started at the beginning of the year.

bluapapilio

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

mood :): hot

bluapapilio

Chapter 13: Aw, they both like horror movies!!

Nobara showing off her badass side again to protect Yukino!

Nobara's smile when the little brother Aoi said she should come again!!

Chapter 14: Yukino turned down the position of 1st year drama club's team leader. She wants to keep her head down.

Chapter 15: My gosh Ookami's had a rough time of it because of her looks.

Misa doing something good for once, helping Yukino find the girl leaving the pictures for Ookami.

Chapter 16: Ookami found her girl! She's an amazing artist.

Chapter 17: Her name is Raiha and she's a third year. Aw, Ookami wants to try drawing because of her. Will they be friends or something more?

Chapter 18: Nobara was so happy to be wearing Yukino's cardigan. <3 The patterned cardigans were cute why does everyone have to wear plain ones. 😢 Conformity...

Chapter 19-20: "You don't have to force yourself to say or do things you don't like. I like how you are right now, Nobara." ❤️️

Chapter 21: So Yukino was class president in middle school and a girl was jealous of how kind and good she was and bullied her...

Ugh Nobara and Yukino are so good together.

Chapter 22: Raiha came to watch Yukino's play. <3 Nobara recognized a boy who came to watch the play? Yukino accepted the leader position and everyone was happy!

mood :): weird

bluapapilio

I accidentally overwrote the entry for ep. 4-6. 🙃

Episode 7: Ed and Al saying wearing the armor is a hobby and freaking Maria and Denny out. 😆

Sheskaaa, ganbare! I think Ed would've given her a lot of money anyway but hearing about her sick mother...

The bros find out the philosopher's stone requires human sacrifices. I mean, I'm pretty sure Marcoh warned them it wasn't a pretty truth.

Ed/Al: Tell no one about this.
Maria/Denny: *whispers about it in front of Armstrong*

D'OH. I mean it's for the best, the boys already take too much onto themselves.

I swear the hilarious expressions in FMA are the most comedic, and it can go from angsty to funny in 2 seconds flat.

Ed realizing he called himself small. 🤣

I feel like I remember quite a lot of the broader things. It's nice to still be caught off guard by the funny things though.

Episode 8: Ed being disappointed someone else thought of binding a soul to a suit of armor;;

Ed said he's never beaten armor Al but what about flesh Al? 🤔 Of course, it'd take a while for Al to be fit for fighting once he got his body back.

Episode 9: "You can put more trust in adults, you know."

Denny and Maria are so funny.

Winry forgot a part in Ed's automail, that's why it stopped working during the fight. And what does she expect him to use the arm for, he's a fighter and an alchemist.

Winry and Elicia are so cuute.

Curse my sympathy crying!

mood :): tired

therealtrash

I've mentioned before that I don't like Christmas, but there's one thing I do like, and that's the Christmas decorations. I remembered that many years ago, my sister gave me a Christmas globe. I was so happy, it made my Christmas better, but unfortunately my mom accidentally broke it, I got so sad. I always wanted a new one, but I couldn't find, so I gave up. But this year I remembered that and asked my mom for a Christmas globe. And, well... unfortunately she couldn't find one like the one that broke. But she brought me two plastic balls, similar to globes. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but I still think they're cute, and they're much bigger than the globe I lost. So, I put them together my Christmas pine cone that I made last year in another group and put a tiny Christmas hat that was from a weird Santa that also broke on top of a bottle that I also customized in my group last year. I love making and receiving Christmas decorations; it makes Christmas feel cozier, like in the old Christmas commercials. And I'm very happy with the gift my mom gave me, even though it's simple, I like it! i think i can make Christmas good for me in my way, even if i don't go to the Christmas Dinner and set off fireworks, that doesn't mean i'm not having fun. i just prefer be cozy on my house with my mom, my cat and even my brother, just us four. that's a Christmas good enough for me.

Here are some photo of my little Christmas corner on my shelf, plus my cat wearing the tiny Christmas hat because he's silly.

mood :): cheerful

sennashi_dorei

I was sitting in the library, reading a book the other day.. I see people on dreamwidth who also read books, so I know I am not entirely alone, but with it being 2025, I felt sooooo old fashioned. And not just books, but origami too.. Everyone must be playing video games and recording videos etc all the time, and I am stuck on paper. lol.

bedes

Rating: M

Fandom: MILGRAM

Characters: Muu Kusunoki, Rei

Relationship: Muu Kusunoki/Rei

Words: 2,467

Content Warnings: Bullying, slut-shaming, cannibalistic urges

Tropes: AU - Cakeverse, Internalized Homophobia (Muu), Metaphor, Angst

Summary: Nobody would think she was cute if the word got out that Kusunoki Muu wanted to eat her classmate.

( Notes )

( Read more... )

( Notes )

crossposts: https://fairyfic.dreamwidth.org/18924.html

sennashi_dorei

Roundabout front, M.Y.-K.I. rendition

Day 6 backside, K.I.

It is Saturday, and I woke up, and I still folded! I thought that maybe I should take the weekend off, but then I risk not finishing them all. I am telling myself that I am allowed to take tomorrow off.. but this program is only 25 days, so I think it is possible that I will just do every day, why not? I really think it will just happen...... except, last year, eventually, I really felt that the pieces were challenging. So It is possible that there could be difficult projects, maybe they won't all be done by the end of the year. That's why I set the low goal lololol.

In addition.. I have decided there are a few kusudama projects that I want to do. I found two of them. If I only finish one by the end of the year, that's fine. There is another modular project I found.. it has some origami happening in it, but it involves paper curling, and I have not really done that this strongly before. I am not sure if I will finish this project by the end of the year. I am also trying to finish the "Body of Work" book... it is really just an account of learning medicine from cadavers in med school.

Have a nice weekend everyone!!
沢山面白い冒険を見つけて下さい！

bluapapilio

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has marked as possibly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. )

mood :): drained

bedes

Rating: G

Fandom: Great God Grove

Characters: Click Clack, Thespius Green (mentioned)

Relationship: Click Clack/Thespius Green

Words: 932

Tropes: Internalized Homophobia (Click Clack), Autistic Character (Click Clack), Character Study, Denial of Feelings, Unconventional Format

Summary: Click Clack carefully edits his thought process (lest it leads to something he's not yet ready to face).

He can't let his mask fall off, after all!

( Notes )

( Read more... )

crossposts: https://fairyfic.dreamwidth.org/18649.html

bedes

Rating: G

Fandom: Splatoon

Characters: Marie, Callie (mentioned)

Relationship: Callie & Marie

Words: 1,309

Tropes: Aromantic Character (Marie), Character Study, Coming Out, Unconventional Format, Seasonal, Worldbuilding

Summary: For our pride month special, I was honored with being the first to interview Marie since her coming out earlier this month made waves!

( Notes )

( Read more... )

crossposts: https://fairyfic.dreamwidth.org/18423.html

profile ᯓᡣ𐭩

lume

My Website

December 2025

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page summary ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

sennashi_dorei - Scared of getting sick, argh.
thedumbopt_imist - (no subject)
autumninpluto - Me to myself: Hey, stop touching that.
bryce4_4 - So hey
bluapapilio - 🔊 Daily music
bedes - Finn/Fionna Parallels
bedes - Haruka Isn't Autistic-Coded – He Has an Intellectual Disability (And Why That Matters)
yuuago - +++ Misc
sennashi_dorei - AoT D7 Citrus Slices: Finished!
haitangkitty - be my eternal companion of the night
bluapapilio - Manga Check-in: "Red Raven" v1 ch.1-4
bluapapilio - 🌈GL Manga Check-in: "Ouji-sama Nante Iranai" ch. 13-22
bluapapilio - Anime Check-in: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood ep. 7-8
therealtrash - Trying to make Christmas cozier
sennashi_dorei - Origami and books, how old fashioned.
bedes - MILGRAM | Lipgloss Flavor
sennashi_dorei - AoT D6: Roundabout, done!
bluapapilio - 🌈BL Manga Check-in: "Hana ni Kuchizuke"
bedes - Great God Grove | A Fickle Editor
bedes - Splatoon | EXCLUSIVE: Marie Cuttlefish on Coming Out, Invisibility, and Being an Aromantic Idol

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Page generated Monday, December 8th, 2025 03:34 pm

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Scared of getting sick, argh.

(no subject)

Me to myself: Hey, stop touching that.

So hey

🔊 Daily music

Finn/Fionna Parallels

Haruka Isn't Autistic-Coded – He Has an Intellectual Disability (And Why That Matters)

+++ Misc

AoT D7 Citrus Slices: Finished!

be my eternal companion of the night

Manga Check-in: "Red Raven" v1 ch.1-4

🌈GL Manga Check-in: "Ouji-sama Nante Iranai" ch. 13-22

Anime Check-in: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood ep. 7-8

Trying to make Christmas cozier

Origami and books, how old fashioned.

MILGRAM | Lipgloss Flavor

AoT D6: Roundabout, done!

🌈BL Manga Check-in: "Hana ni Kuchizuke"

Great God Grove | A Fickle Editor

Splatoon | EXCLUSIVE: Marie Cuttlefish on Coming Out, Invisibility, and Being an Aromantic Idol

profile ᯓᡣ𐭩

December 2025

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page summary ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

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